Tuesday, April 20

Thanks, Japan Part 3,112

The tiny island nation of Japan once again delights us with a wonderful sporting breakthrough. The last time MagBas correspondents covered Japanese sports, they came back with a suitcase full of Godzilla porn, a sweaty panda helmet and some shards of fluorescent light bulbs in their hair. It took us a week to get the variety of odors out of the office chairs.

This is Kosho. At first, it seems like some sort of adult version of Quidditch cosplay, what with all the robes and gloves. I guess they're broomsticks are in the shop ...

This is actually a clip from the 1967 television series The Prisoner; something that apparently existed, yet I've never heard of. In this episode, entitled "It's Your Funeral," two adversaries in Spaceballs-esque helmets dual on a pair of trampolines with a dunk tank in the middle. The first one to get wet is the loser, and is summarily executed via snow monkey rape. You can't spell funeral without fun! Ahem. Moving on ...

A few notes on this strange custom:

Isn't it a little unsafe to keep the lockers in such close proximity to the trampolines? Oh, I guess that's what the helmets are for.

What's with that pink tuxedo-wearing perv that lingers? Is he a sexually confused watchmaker? Alert the authorities immediately.

The foley artists went a little overboard on this one. Everyone knows that trampolines are mostly quiet, if you don't include the haunting screams of pain that accompany their use. And not ONCE did they show a dude get double bounced. The fuck? A strong double bounce could hyper extend your opponents' knees, essentially crippling him for life; or better yet, send him hurtling into the rafters, where he would remain until rescued by firemen.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must continue my training. Sensei Rex is not one to wait.

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