Soon, it will be election time again, when all non-felons support this Great Experiment by casting a vote for some jackass who doesn't give a shit about them. You remember when network TV and cable news outlets started the whole red state/blue state thing? This map is like that, except it's totally metal and it won't bore you to slow-motion suicide. This is a map of North America, THE BEST AMERICA ... showing references on Google to pizza, guns and strip clubs.
A few observations:
FLO-RIDA: Take it from a lifelong Florida native: this represents the sunshine state quite accurately. Your ass might get shot for your Domino's coupons or wrinkled up Washingtons.
REPUBLIC of TEXAS: Nice spattering of gats n' twats. I'm scheduling my next 'fact-finding mission' to Laredo. Pack your passport! We're going on a taco run!
KINGDOM of LAS VEGAS: At the airport, you are greeted with a complimentary bottle of hand sanitizer with glitter in it.
CANADA: Hey America, Junior! You're our healthier, more frigid neighbor to the north and you still can't join our fun? Did the makers of this map forget to hit the 'translate' button? What's Canadian for pizza, any way?*
EMPIRE OF HAWAII: Apparently, they need to protect their pineapple crops from pelicans or some shit.
ALASKA: So, we won't be seeing any Tina Fey impersonators up on stage? I hope for that to change.
*Note: it's bacon.
Thanks to reader: Cap for sending this in.