Tuesday, March 8

So This Happened This Weekend

Last night, convicted rapist and co-star of The Hangover debuted his new reality show on Animal Planet, called Taking On Tyson. It's about the world of pigeon racing.

"Boxing legend Mike Tyson always has loved pigeons. They've been a part of his
life since childhood. In fact, Mike threw his first punch when a neighborhood
bully killed one of his beloved pigeons and threw it in his face. In TAKING ON
TYSON, Mike goes beyond raising pigeons to racing them for the first time, and
entering the highly competitive subculture of pigeon racing. The stakes are high
in a sport that has just as much machismo as boxing."

Umm, WHAT!?!? I don't watch boxing any more; not since Butterbean got too preachy. I'd like to think that it's the most grueling sport in the world, demanding more strength, timing and balls than I'll ever have in my pinky nail. So when some shithead reality show producer tries to sell me a show about pigeon racing, they don't go saying that it "has just as much machismo as boxing" without my bullshit siren going off. First of all, they're fucking flying rats. There is nothing else. That's all the argument I need.

All kidding aside, I'm glad to see Mike doing well. He remains one of our most intriguing figures. It's a god damn miracle he didn't end up committing suicide by S.W.A.T. team years ago. I think it's refreshing to see a guy turn his life around like that, especially since he has a little money and lots of fame. Here's a guy who's been embarrassed by Givens, Holyfield and Lewis, but he still knows how to have a good time, like when he sang a duet with Bobby Brown. I pray to Arturo Gatti's ghost that he doesn't fuck everything up by appearing on Charlie Sheen's little webcast or hooking up with Kendra Baskett.

I didn't watch this show because I was flipping between Daniel Tosh's comedy special and the drinking-tequila-from-a-gun channel. My favorite part is when he said that women weren't equals!

I checked out the videos, and it seems like it's shot pretty creatively. While there are plenty of Jersey and New York accents (both of which annoy the piss out of me), thankfully there aren't any pudgy orange publicity sluts. Will I watch this show? Not unless it features Mike RUINING PEOPLE'S SHIT WITH HIS FISTS. As for the birds, I like them baked, BBQ'd or with funny cartoon voices:

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