MIAMI, FL - H. Wayne Huizinga announced at a press conference attended by a total of 4 reporters that the Dolphins will have a new mascot and model for the new logo this season. In an attempt to toughen up the floundering 'Phins' image, Huizinga hopes that the new addition can bring success to a franchise that seems lost at sea.
Gilligan, a yet unidentified creature from the Mariana trench offers considerably more bite than Snowflake, the last dophin mascot. Snowflake was introduced in 1990 to modest reviews. He managed to get himself kidnapped by transsexual ex-kicker and police detective Ray Finkel the day before Super Bowl XXVIII. He was rescued before the Dolphin's historic victory over the Eagles, thanks to the heroics of one Ace Ventura and Magnificent Bastard Dan Marino.
After being dismissed that summer, Snowflake returned to his home in Billings, Montana to a modest barber shop and shoe repair store. He has two apprentices.
Let the Gilligan era begin!
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